My friends are dating each other
Let them know how much you don’t want to lose them as a friend.
Say that you have no problem with their sexual orientation, but you want to continue to hang out with them without always feeling like you’re intruding on one of their private dates.
) They've got their own multitude of things to work out and adjust to, but you know who's taking it really hard? Schmidt is having Nick-based text-message withdrawal, Winston is channeling his anxiety into an obsession puzzles, and neither of them are thrilled that they have to be best friends now.
Playing matchmaker among your friends can feel totally great, but unfortunately, it can also be super uncomfortable when two of your close friends start dating because it will inevitably change all your friendships. You might feel jealous or territorial of one or both of their time and company. Once, my best friend and a really close guy friend started dating.
Once you're hanging out with your friends and their significant others on the regular, you all become chummy enough that you can swap advice or drop helpful knowledge bombs on each other. But now that my friends are all coupled up, they are less interested in going out partying, and have thus also become "that kid". I hate this stereotype that the "single friend" feels somehow less secure because of their other friends' relationship statuses.
For instance, until last week, I was singing a line from "Wagon Wheel" so wrong that it transcended wrongness—until my friend's boyfriend corrected me, thus saving me from a future of shame. We are now all collectively terrible at staying up past our bedtimes. Our happiness for them and the fun we have with them is totally separate from any feelings we have about our own single-dom.
Alright, so this is a pretty unusual situation as far as things like this go. I understand where you’re coming from – no one likes to feel like a third wheel.
I just found out that my two best girl friends in the entire world are lesbians and that they’re dating! They seem happy and I don’t want to mess that up, but I also don’t want to feel like a third wheel. It’s totally understandable for you to feel left out and a little bummed out, even if you’re happy for your friends at the same time.
I am not even exaggerating for effect here: When I say "all of them", I mean every last one. It's like a girl can't take a few measly years off of dating to watch TV and eat food without everyone going out and getting coupled up behind her back! "I'll just take your order when everyone's here," they will say, eyeing the conspicuously empty spot next to you that is decidedly asymmetrical from all your coupled friends.
I also feel like I’m going to lose my two best friends… Sometimes I feel like there is no resolution for this. You have two options here: you can voice your concerns to your friends or you can try to move on and stop hanging out with them.