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27-Sep-2016 15:50

I don’t expect a woman I am dating, or even more seriously involved with, to “help me get through my pain and loss”, as it relates to my late wife’s passing.

I should have done that prior to entering the relationship. By the time a widow/widower enters the dating world, they should already be through the initial stages of grief and into the recovery phase of rebuilding their lives.

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I would have been dating again within a year if I had not been in a car accident that put me out of action for 9 months.

The widow(er) will make this decision for themselves, but the important thing is that you are about to discuss, respect and be comfortable with the amount of time they’ll need.

Is it common for widow(er)s to compare new dates to their former spouse?

It is one thing to be supportive and allow space for the feelings and ebbs and flows of emotion which diminish over time, but I don’t think a person should be the widow/widower’s grief counselor.” Most people who’ve suffered a loss have already built a network of friends and/or family for support.

Many will choose to attend therapy or support groups for help dealing with their pain. When you are dating someone it should be about you and that person having a shared goal of creating a great relationship.He or she is also letting go of the past.” “Tread lightly and follow their lead.